Adventures in Being

How Many Christians Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Charismatic: Only 1.
Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10.
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians:
None Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None.
Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken .
Episcopalians: 3.
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5.
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Holiness Movement: Undetermined.
They each have a different idea of what the replacement light bulb has to be.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined.
Just bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6.
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None.
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish:
What's a light bulb?
What it should be:None.
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are Loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb, we won't try to change you. Jesus changes all bulbs back into His own image.

*Funny? Oh YES! Sad? VERY!