Adventures in Being

Is it the one who conceives and gives birth? What if the child is adopted? Are you still a Mother?
If your child dies before, during or after birth, do you suddenly cease to be a mother?

At least for most of us, when we look at a picture with a woman and a child we automatically think – Oh, there is a mother and her child. And yet many of us require the credentials and details of those we actually know before we deem them worthy of the title Mother.

Ask the woman who conceived and waited with great love and anticipation the arrival of her little bundle only to have her child go Heavenward before she ever held them in her arms. Ask her if she is still a mother, after all she never gave birth did she?

Ask the woman who prayed for years to conceive while all around her family and friends experienced the joys of Motherhood, until finally one day that call came – you can come and pick up your child. Ask her if she is really a mother, after all she neither carried nor delivered.

Ask the children whose mother beat them and held their heads under water until they suffocated if the woman doing so is worthy of the title –Mother.

Ask the politician’s son or daughter who never wanted for anything financially, but always longed for their “Mothers” time, and acceptance – if the woman who gave birth to them is worthy of the title –Mother.

Why do we have qualifying names such as adoptive mother, step mother, mother in law, and yet we fail to label the “natural” mothers as attentive mothers, selfish mothers, or loving mothers?

As Oprah Winfrey says: "Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother." And as Jean Horst puts it, “Mothering is more than giving birth and raising a child by blood or adoption. For some women, mothering is their spiritual gift.”

I personally have been blessed with four children. All of them were given to me. What you may ask made you a mother? When did you become a mother?

I became a mother the night I knelt before God and accepted the honor, the privilege, and the responsibility of carry not for MY children but for His precious children. You see, for me personally biology is a fact of life not an ingredient of motherhood anymore than it was for Mary of Bethlehem. She did not conceive Jesus Christ, and yet I know of no religious belief that would dare argue that she is not the Mother of Jesus. God gave Jesus to Mary and asked her to be the Mother of His Only Son. And in the same fashion God looked the world over and said I would like for you to be the caretaker/Mother of these children.

So for those of you who have been raised and continue to choose to see Motherhood as a title of ownership; I would encourage you to look to God and to truly evaluate what His definition of Motherhood is: A caregiver who accepts the honor and responsibility for raising His children. If you are a Mother then you are His hands and His voice, you are caring for His children, as He wants you to. If on the other hand you are caring for your children as you see best, I gently encourage you to let go of the past and become a Mother. There are no earthly words to describe the honor and true joy that will be yours.

For those who are truly Mothers, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!